the 14th of February

I almost forgot it was Valentine’s Day until I saw bouquets of red roses and hundreds more of different flowers on display in a flower shop in Paris. Of course, how could I miss it? Heart decorations have flooded the malls since the first day of February. Radio stations have been playing love songs nonstop. But still, there I was, strolling alone in the most romantic city in the world without any thought about the love month. If you were too excited to see the Louvre Museum, the Moulin Rouge, and the Eiffel Tower and you only had half a day to do it, you would have the same temporary amnesia like mine.

But if I had to say the real reason, I did not want to participate in celebrating Valentine’s Day because I did not want to. I did not want to because my heart is still incapacitated in the romance department. It does not involve any of my previous lovers. My heart is simply tired. I tried to open myself to new lovers for the sake of easing my loneliness but I could never feel settled. I am never convinced. My restless heart is never satisfied. I find young men too immature. On the other hand, I find older men too serious and cheesy. Especially when I start to think the long and time-consuming journey of courtship, it bores me already. That is why until now, (hard to say but…) I am still free.

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 But  I still do believe, with all of my heart, in my happy ending. 🙂 I still believe in loving like crazy. I still believe, and am still waiting, for that one greatest, true love to turn my world around…again.

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